Anxiety

“God… why did I say that??”

That’s what you’re asking yourself… over and over as you TRY to fall asleep.

You can’t help but question yourself like this, queuing up that broken record that tortures you every night.

“It’s 3 am. Come on!! Why can’t I sleep?”

Every time you put your head down, the same thoughts replay in your mind.

At this point, you’re beyond frustrated…

You’re probably also angry at yourself… maybe even embarrassed and ashamed.

At work, you feel a constant dread. “If I don’t knock this out of the park…” You feel like you have to knock everything out of the park or else…

In a group of your friends, you take a chance and speak your mind. “Well, I think that…” You might feel okay briefly, but for the rest of the time, you can’t help but worry… “Why did I say anything? They probably hate me now!”

Your partner mentions spending time with a friend of the same gender as yours (i.e., a gender that your partner is attracted to), and your worry spikes. “What if they leave me?”

Somewhere among your racing thoughts, you’ve probably asked yourself…

Is there something wrong with me? Am I broken??

Maybe I’ll take meds. But should I with all those side effects?

Maybe I should talk with someone… but who?

But what if they think I’m a freak?

What if they listen to me for five minutes and then write me off as some hopeless case?

I get it.

I know what it’s like to have your mind run endlessly like a treadmill all day…

… to feel like you’re sabotaging yourself with your anxiety…

… to flail around helplessly with no way to stop it.

I know… because I’ve been there.

What got me through it was teasing out all of the “givens” in my mind.

My “givens” were the thoughts or beliefs that I assumed were true, without really checking.

Or if I did check, I’d fall into “confirmation bias” (i.e., when we find an example to confirm our opinion without looking further).

Such as, everything’s going to fall apart if I don’t stay on top of things.

Or, “She’s gonna leave me, I just know it.”

By talking through the content stream of my consciousness with a skilled professional, I found out that I had “bedrock ideas” about myself and the world that were… a little outdated.

These ideas served me at some point in the past. But at some point, I realized I was ready to question those beliefs. Here’s an example:

“If I really let someone into my life, they’ll reject me.”

This helped me stay away from pain, sure.

But I also deprived myself of the joy and fun of being in a close partnership.

When I was ready, I allowed myself to question this belief and grow. (It’s okay to take your time!)

Let me tell you the “aha” moment for me…

Everything changed when I realized that I could pull apart what felt like an obvious truth into its smallest possible parts. And when I did, my beliefs about myself ended up being little more than disjointed feelings, memories, and thoughts.

Like dust in a beam of light…

And perhaps the greatest discovery of all was that I didn’t have to be so afraid of my mind OR the outside world anymore.

The therapeutic work we’ll do is radical.

It will combine the necessary skills of communication and mindset with the refreshingly transformative and soul-bearing work of letting go of your trauma.

Therapy really is the building of a relationship. But a radically different one than you’re used to.

One where (if we’re a good fit), you’ll feel safer than you ever have before in sharing what’s on your heart or mind.

One where you can be honest: about your likes, dislikes, dreams, deep stinky shameful secrets… it’s a place for it all.

Some clients who are ready for it can even share with me ways in which I’m not serving them as well as they’d like. Doing so opens the door for us to undo and rewrite years of embedded beliefs about how relationships are and what we can expect from them.

We’ll talk. We’ll laugh. And we might even cry together.

I’ll be there with you, on your side, deeply curious about you, every step of the way.

I can admit that can be intimidating. But that’s why we’ll go at your pace. We’ll talk about what you want to talk about. I’ll sprinkle in a juicy question or a nonjudgmental perspective to stimulate your growth when appropriate.

At times, it will be fun. Yes, fun. Unfolding into who you really are can really be enjoyable with the right therapist on your side.

I use a mix of techniques – some conversational. Others are meditative and serene. And at times, we’ll just get our boots dirty and discuss how to address a situation practically.

That’s why our work will be radically integrative – we’ll help you develop fully, as a whole person.

We’ll help you get ready to shift your beliefs. We’ll be there together as you reckon with what the world looks like now that you’re more open.

We’ll help you dismantle the core assumptions about yourself and the world that limit you, piece by piece… So you can breathe in more deeply and look out into your environment with less fear.

“If I take something away, won’t I have just a big gaping hole inside of me?”

If you take out a splinter, are you forever missing something? No, you find that the wound heals, and the soft tissues grow back to fill in the space left behind.

And you feel better.

It’s hard to imagine until you become more seasoned in this process of taking apart and healing. But the greater well-being and more profound sense of peace you discover with each step is tangible.

Don’t take my word for it. After each release, you’ll be able to feel it.

“So, I hear what you’re saying, but sum it up for me, please.”

Sure.

At the end of the day, this endeavor is one of sharing, observing, and accepting what’s inside. The benefit of working with me is that I won’t judge you.

Really. Because I’ve been where you are.

I’ve been low. I’ve been stuck in bed. I’ve been lost in my circular thought patterns.

And I’m sure I’ve believed many of the same things you believe.

And through my own process of dismantling, breathing, and reintegrating… What was left was acceptance. Love. And compassion.

I can believe the skepticism… because I used to be skeptical, too. But as your heal, you love, and you accept. Because the healing process is a process of loving and accepting – yourself.

So…

What are you waiting for?

My longer-term clients (one year+) report how different their lives are.

They feel more hopeful and powerful.

They’re dating again or for the first time.

They’re enjoying the fulfillment that comes from sharing their intimate thoughts with their partners in an effective way.

They’re moving forward in their lives: more content, more confident, and more at peace.

And for those who need a longer time – that’s okay, too. It’s a pleasure and an honor to help them heal, week in and week out, with steady and loving support.

So…

Isn’t addressing this thing worth a try?

Get better by reaching out for help today. Give me a call: (919) 627-7329.