Much of this you do without even thinking about it…
You scan others’ faces, vigilant about what they’re thinking about you. It unsettles you sometimes, yet this is just how it’s been.
Your partner expresses their hurt about something you’ve done, and you immediately shut down. You’re thrust into a small place inside of you, and you don’t know why.
You feel like you’re never enough. No accomplishment, compliment, or recognition eases the alienation and loneliness inside.
It feels like life washes over you, and you’re struggling to make it back to the surface. You hold your breath, but each stroke feels heavy and tiresome.
If you don’t stick to the plan, you feel panicky and scared. The plan keeps you safe.
You make a mistake and immediately tear into yourself. “How can I be so stupid!” You burn with self-hatred.
Life feels utterly hopeless. You stay in bed scrolling endlessly on social media. Better to numb the pain than face the day.
You’d love to date, but you just know there wouldn’t be any point. Any potential partner will let you down, yet you feel so alone.
That dread and numbness that lives in the background…
Depression and anxiety seem to hang over you like a heavy cloud. They suck the energy out of you. You’re afraid to live the life you want because of… what is it??
Fear of rejection? Of failure? That you’ll get hurt again?
It just feels so chronic – so normal for you… and it’s exhausting.
Why can’t life change? What’s the secret?
When you’re out, you see smiling people: friends laughing with each other, partners enjoying each other’s companionship…
But it doesn’t feel that way for you – even with those you love most. There’s an uneasiness… a dread, and numbness in the background.
I get it… because I’ve been there.
Although, at the time, I didn’t have it labeled as “trauma.”
All I knew was that I felt like crap more often than not… that my relationships weren’t going how I wanted… and that I had a hard time understanding how I felt or what I wanted out of my life.
I learned years later that trauma obscures your capacity to see into yourself and have the kind of success you want in life.
How you’ve been coping?
You erect a pleasant facade. People like you, but there’s the rub. You have to please to feel safe or accepted.
You work like hell to be successful, but you feel worn out and that your work is meaningless. But if you didn’t work so hard, who would you be?
You try to be Zen, but it’s becoming harder to ignore how you feel. You’re tired and sad and could really use some support, but you wonder if anyone can really understand you?
You’ve moved away from your folks to leave their domineering influence, but you’re torn. Your love for them is repelled by countless memories of them failing you. You want closeness, but you haven’t found a satisfying way in so far.
There is a way out.
I wish I had the guidance to know my trauma much earlier in my life. I felt like so many years of my life had been wasted by not getting the support I needed.
I was lucky enough to meet a mentor, a teacher, and a partner, each of whom taught me in different ways about trauma and how to break free from its grasp.
They showed me the importance of leveraging curiosity to untangle and break down my patterns of acting and feeling.
I learned how to go toward (not away) from my pain. That shift taught me that my constant striving to be better or like someone else, while protective, served to torture me and delay my healing.
These wonderful people used their curiosity when I felt like I had none, inspiring me to say aloud the things that were buried in my mind and my heart.
And their ACCEPTANCE of me… frankly, I found it shocking at the time. I had no idea how the things I was most ashamed of could be seen as so normal and human… that my flaws and so-called “idiotic” behavior could be seen as attempts at self-preservation and growth.
Through this process of talking, sharing, and breaking down…
… years of layered trauma, I began to feel lighter.
More relaxed.
More capable of loving myself.
THIS was the self-love that had evaded me for so long.
And one day, I just felt… happy.
I discovered that the radical act of self-love meant going deep and accepting all that was inside me.
As I write this, I shed a tear.
Let’s uncover the beauty within YOU.
Because that’s my passion – my deepest source of motivation and joy as a therapist.
I want to help you recognize the truth: The only person you’ve ever REALLY wanted to love is yourself.
That’s probably the opposite of everything you’ve ever been taught, right? But don’t worry: It is possible to heal despite that untruth. It can be what eventually causes you to thrive and blossom.
This path toward healing is hard, but it’s worth it – at least my clients and I think so.
Won’t you make this investment in yourself and find out about the life that awaits you?
You can start right now. Call me, and let’s schedule a free 20-minute consultation: (919) 627-7329.